Here's my heart-- I'll let you break it.*

books_and_guns @ 2004-04-25T19:41:00

2004-04-25T23:49:11Z

/_teafortwo

add it.

books_and_guns @ 2004-04-18T14:54:00

2004-04-18T18:59:07Z

I want so badly to believe that there is truth
and love is real

he could be just what i needed.

books_and_guns @ 2004-04-04T20:26:00

2004-04-05T00:31:01Z

there's just something about his smile.

thanks lm. i couldn't have done it without you. :)

books_and_guns @ 2004-03-16T20:13:00

2004-03-17T01:21:58Z

Just when I was starting to forget when I never really had that many friends who were girls, life had to go and remind me.
Thank you to those who are true, I dont need to name them, because you know.

"dont fuck w/ LD she will kill u"
-he couldn't have said it better. =)

I'm getting a new journal too. I'll post it when I feel like it.

books_and_guns @ 2004-03-07T10:18:00

2004-03-07T15:50:52Z

last night was so much fun! Erica came to pick me up after her soccer game.We got her CD thing to work all by ourselves! Then we headed off to Ryan's and watched Ryan, Bryan, Geoff, Davis and Dane play street hockey. When they were done all of us went to Davis' and the boys showerd up becasue they were smelly. Dee, Erica & I watched The Inferno in the basement until they were all done showering. After that we went to Dee's becasue they wanted to watch The O.C. and Dee has TiVo (it's soo awesome) But everyone ended up leaving and "going upstairs" becasue me and Geoff we sitting together. The cool kids they are the tryed to spy on us (even though we weren't doing anything). It's kind of akward when your sitting on the couch with a boy and Pat & Ryan are laying behind the couch and the Parents walk in... hm. After that we ran to Geoff's to get him a belt and then Erica, Dane, Geoff and I went over to Steph's to pick her up. Then everyone headed off to the hockey game, which dover won! Next game, Wednesday Night, Exeter rinks, 815. BE THERE!!!

books_and_guns @ 2004-03-06T13:03:00

2004-03-06T18:09:49Z

Stayed at kelley's last night. It was "Gangster Gangster" at the top of the list.

fun times when kell is around. <3

books_and_guns @ 2004-03-03T15:38:00

2004-03-03T20:44:46Z

Lw2234: hi nice to meet you
Lw2234: do you wanna have sex
Lw2234: sure
Lw2234: cool

ooh boy. I miss those nights up in Colby. ah!
__Measure in love

books_and_guns @ 2004-02-27T09:58:00

2004-02-27T15:06:39Z

hockey game was wonderful.

well, I'm a wreck
I really can't explain it
but I hear the music
when i look at you

books_and_guns @ 2004-02-22T12:28:00

2004-02-22T17:33:05Z

the hockey game last night was amazing.

Christy, please bring me; one dunkin donuts something, one lemon lime gatorade, and one salted pretzel. thank you.

books_and_guns @ 2004-02-20T19:11:00

2004-02-21T00:18:47Z

I instant messaged Danny randomly today. I'm not sure why I did it, but I'm so glad I did. Me and him dated or whatever back in the day (6th & 7th grade) and after we broke up we were really good friends, if there was a word for better then best, I would use it right now. At the begining of last year we sort of lost contact, I regret that so much.

LiNDSAY D137: hey danny
NoMa519: hey whats up!
NoMa519: i havent talked to you in sooo long
LiNDSAY D137: omg i know!
LiNDSAY D137: how have you been?!
NoMa519: how have u been?
NoMa519: haha good you?
LiNDSAY D137: haha, pretty good.
LiNDSAY D137: hows Brie & STA?
NoMa519: thats good to hear
NoMa519: very good and good
NoMa519: u got any boyz over at dovaaa?
LiNDSAY D137: ehhhhhh sorta not really. there are some cuties but I dont really have a chance.
LiNDSAY D137: hey, it happens.
NoMa519: haha why do u say that
NoMa519: u could get em
LiNDSAY D137: honestly, i haven't had a "real" relastionship since.... you:-[
LiNDSAY D137: i dunno he's so hott!
NoMa519: u havent??
LiNDSAY D137: nope. one that lasted a few weeks but that was it.
NoMa519: haha good choice there lindsay
NoMa519: im sorry :-\
LiNDSAY D137: hahhaha you might know him-- he plays hockey
NoMa519: whats his name????
LiNDSAY D137: ooh no no you shouldnt be sorry. you just raised my standards WAYYY up. lol
LiNDSAY D137: --- ------- (lol hot initials)
NoMa519: lol
NoMa519: holy shit that kid is one of my best friends!!
LiNDSAY D137: OMG
NoMa519: damnit get with that kid right now!
LiNDSAY D137: HE'S BEAUTIFULLL
NoMa519: ive known him for a couple years hahah
NoMa519: hes my bro
LiNDSAY D137: lol
NoMa519: lol thats so awesome
LiNDSAY D137: i have talked to him like twice?
NoMa519: lol so what
LiNDSAY D137: omg but he's so gorgeous
LiNDSAY D137: haha
NoMa519: tell him that u and i dated back i N ham
NoMa519: in*
NoMa519: lol i agree, hes adorable
NoMa519: haha
LiNDSAY D137: hahaha i never talk to him tho
NoMa519: he just got kicked off the team tho
NoMa519: ill get him to talk to you
LiNDSAY D137: i know
LiNDSAY D137: he's a bad kid=-O lol
LiNDSAY D137: jk jk
NoMa519: ill have a few words with him lol
LiNDSAY D137: noo bc then he'll think im some crazy stalkerrr
NoMa519: hes not bad , he just got caught up in some crap
NoMa519: no he wont
NoMa519: i think ive already talked about ypu before
LiNDSAY D137: really?
NoMa519: like a few years ago
LiNDSAY D137: crazzzy
NoMa519: have u met barry yet?
LiNDSAY D137: you can just be like "my favorite person in the world who i havent talked to in forever IMed me today..."
LiNDSAY D137: yeah, barry is a cool kid
NoMa519: haha hes the man
LiNDSAY D137: yeah yeah he is
NoMa519: so hows the hockey life treatin ya?
LiNDSAY D137: hm okay i guess. i havent even gone skating this year bc "im not suposed to play a winter sport" bc i fucked up my knee in soccer. hows your team doin?
LiNDSAY D137: are you kids kicking assss?
NoMa519: no were at like .500 right now
NoMa519: but its division I so our team is like ahh who cares we dont need to be amazing
NoMa519: we're playing 4th place nashua tomorrow in dover
LiNDSAY D137: what time?1
NoMa519: 330
NoMa519: u should go haha
LiNDSAY D137: hell, i think that would be a good idea. but who will i sit with?:-[
NoMa519: umm i dont know... u could bring ppul if u werent gonna sit with anyone haha
NoMa519: i dunno sta kids go
NoMa519: some dover
LiNDSAY D137: is brie going?
NoMa519: ummm i dont think so... she has soccer
LiNDSAY D137: damn herrr.
NoMa519: haha
LiNDSAY D137: oooh ps there is a BIG dover/spaulding in spaudling after that which you should attend.
NoMa519: i knowwww..... rivalry
NoMa519: but im watching my cousins with my dad for the weekend
NoMa519: we were supposed to go see miracle
LiNDSAY D137: the little ones i used to talk too?
NoMa519: yeah haha
LiNDSAY D137: miracle is GOOD
NoMa519: yesss
NoMa519: my team has seen it except me
NoMa519: lol
LiNDSAY D137: hahahha me and my dad saw it when it came out
NoMa519: did u see a hockey team there?
NoMa519: lol
LiNDSAY D137: nope. there was a track & feild (or something like that) from UNH there.
LiNDSAY D137: if i did... i would have jumped them. =-O lol jk
NoMa519: haha
LiNDSAY D137: hockey boys are yummm:-P
NoMa519: haha bennnny
LiNDSAY D137: oooomggggg
LiNDSAY D137: im in LOVE with his hair.
LiNDSAY D137: i would marry him based on his hair alone.
NoMa519: lol
LiNDSAY D137: guys w/ hockey hair:-D
NoMa519: go for him
LiNDSAY D137: i doubt i could ever get him
NoMa519: i think u could
NoMa519: just do itt!!!
LiNDSAY D137: i cannnnt daniel!!!!
NoMa519: -----x3
LiNDSAY D137: he's untouchable.
NoMa519: ;-)
LiNDSAY D137: omg he plays lacrosse too?!
NoMa519: yeah haha
NoMa519: hes good too
LiNDSAY D137: i think i just creamed my pants
LiNDSAY D137: lol jk jk
NoMa519: haha
LiNDSAY D137: oooh man danny i cant
NoMa519: -----x3: yah i know her
LiNDSAY D137: AH
LiNDSAY D137: hgkdshgkslghklsfg8-)
LiNDSAY D137: dont make me look like an idiot:-P
NoMa519: dont worry i am
NoMa519: lol
NoMa519: :-P
LiNDSAY D137: hahahhahahahhaha thhhhannnks
LiNDSAY D137: what are you saying?!?!?!
NoMa519: -----x3: ok
DvrLax3: tell hjer to im me
NoMa519: IM him!
LiNDSAY D137: holy mother fucking.
NoMa519: do it now!
LiNDSAY D137: WHAT DO I SAY?!!?
NoMa519: be like..... hey whats up
NoMa519: haha
NoMa519: and start convo
NoMa519: about his hair? i dunno
NoMa519: lol
LiNDSAY D137: LiNDSAY D137: hey whats up?<--thats exactly what i said. ooh go me.
NoMa519: lol
NoMa519: i g2ggg
NoMa519: bye
LiNDSAY D137: i miss youuuu
LiNDSAY D137: bye
NoMa519: bye
NoMa519: bye
NoMa519: byeeeee
NoMa519: :-(
LiNDSAY D137: talk to you later!
NoMa519: yes!!!

I loved the way things started comming back as soon as we started talking. Funny how things like that go & he knew this kid and like he told me too, I IMed this kid

D137: hey whats up?
x3: nm u?
D137: same. do you know who this is?
x3: you bet
x3: lindsay durst

shit. he can spell it too. wow, Im such a dork.

x3: lol i know u werre going out with him when i was on his hockey team\
D137: really?
x3: yah

out of all the guys I met on Danny's team, I dont remember him!

x3: sweet ill cyah ther then prolly
^ talking about the hockey game tomorrow in Spaulding

funny how these things work.

check it out i'm rockin steady to the beat in my head that goes oh oh oh oh

2004-02-15T00:10:05Z

Dear livejournal, I haven't forgot about you. I've just been keeping busy and I'm teatering between this being a good thing and a bad thing. I think I've kept myself busy enough to keep my mind off the usually troubles. At the same time I haven't had time for important things ( I haven't talked to Lyndsy in forever) At any rate, today is valentines day. hott? no. I truly believe valentines day is a waste of a perfectly good day. Just ruin it by drowning it in roses and love and chocolate. But maybe thats just me covering up the fact I have one one special to spend it with.

I rock too fast for love.

But it truly is funny how I am sitting around doing nothing.

stop burning bridges... and drive off of them. so i can forget about you.*

2004-02-07T01:59:49Z

I haven't had much to say recently? unlike me.

got my grades:

French 1 advanced- [quarter2] B+ [midterm] A
Wellness- [quarter2] A [midterm] A
CP English 9- [quarter2] A- [midterm] A
TP Algebra 1- [quarter2] B [midterm] D+ (oops_)
CP Physical Science- [quarter2] B+ [final] B
Econimics-[quarter2] B+ [final] B

GPA- 3.5417

_____ so I'm not a total failure.

books_and_guns @ 2004-01-31T12:13:00

2004-01-31T17:24:36Z

____ things are gunna happen naturally

and I'm taking your advice & looking on the bright side, & balancing the whole thing.

course recomendations:

math- TP Geometry
french- French 2 Advanced
english- CP English 10
social studies- Honors American History (yikes!)
science- CP biology

so I'm not a total failure...

books_and_guns @ 2004-01-24T23:54:00

2004-01-25T05:10:10Z

I've got a good story.

Lyndsy, Jake, Curt and I went to the new walmart in Epping. It was THE hottest thing ever. It was beastly. We ran around turning up the music sampler things as loud as they could go-- playing "the wheels on the bus" after that we searched for paint ballguns then rode mini bicycles until an old walmart lady yelled at us. We looked at electic wheel chairs, unfournatly we didn't have enough money to buy one. We ended up buying, ice cream, magic shell (the stuff that hardens on your ice cream!) chips, dip and soda. But ready for the BEST part?!? THEY HAVE SELF-SCAN THINGS! Yup, thats right, we got to scan all of stuff and then you put the money in the thing and it rocked.

And then we partyed it down at my house. Gotta keep it Nottingham style.

the end.

& j'aime mange une pizza avec jackie

2004-01-23T03:03:07Z

Just got home from Papa Gino's with Jackie. We needed some time to chill & she needed help studying for the french exam. Since I had already taken the test, I knew everything that was on it. So that was a help. I don't think she's upset with me anymore. Thank god, I can't deal with it when people are upset or mad at me. Ooh well, I think we are cool now?

Oui, d'accord.

Here's my heart, I'll let you break it*

2004-01-22T20:14:01Z

ALL DONE WITH EXAMS! Ooh man, so glad to get that over with. It's not that they were hard, just so stressful & boring. So I've got a long weekend... maybe this will bring song fun times. heh.

I don't have much to say. =)

I'm sorry*

2004-01-21T01:01:09Z

Jackie:

I'm sorry for whatever I did. Please find it in your heart-- to at least TALK it over. I hope you believe me when I say I'm trying. [ becasue I am ]

I supose there isn't much I can say. Balls in your court, do with it what you please.

[sincerly]
[lindsay]

books_and_guns @ 2004-01-15T19:48:00

2004-01-16T00:53:26Z

are you
going to
be waiting up when i get home
we’ll stay up all night
getting drunk and watching sunsets on our porch

i’m falling for you
i’m falling for you
i fell for you

i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
i’m dying to explain my heart
to you now
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
there’s so much on my mind it’s tearing me apart
i’m falling for you
i’m f a l l i n g for y o u
i fell for you

I ain't no damsle in distress, and I don't need to be rescued.

2004-01-13T00:19:03Z

so.

I heard Josh is going to ask Lyndsy out this weekend at the movies, and she is going to say 'yes'. Well... you know I really don't care-- if that's what makes them happy. They can't help who they like. I dosen't bother me. I don't like Josh anymore. There are so many nice guys at Dover. Why waste my time?

Even if I did care, if I did care, even if I was screaming, even if the tears were blurring my vision and running make-up down my face, even if I was squeezing my fists so tight they were turning purple, I'd keep it on the inside.

I'd somehow manage to say, "I'm fine."

I always do.

Hearts will never be practical, until they can be made unbreakable

2004-01-11T15:22:27Z

Yesterday, I went to the boys indoor soccer game with Lyndsy. It was really weird seeing Josh again. I didn't talk to him. I didn't smile at him. I didn't look at him. He road in the car with Kyle, Lyndsy and I on the way home. That was the worst. I didn't say a word outloud. Secretly I was just wishing he'd fall down the stairs. I had to keep looking out the window becasue I started to cry. I wasn't crying becasue I still like him, becasue
I don't ... only becasue I was pissed at the whole situation. I don't even know what to say.

so i'll walk the plank
and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
you've left me with nothing,
but I've worked with less.

books_and_guns @ 2004-01-05T18:35:00

2004-01-05T23:53:02Z

hahahaha oh wow.

my best friend and ex-boyfriend like each other.

I knew it was comming so it shouldn't be this much of a shock. She said she couldnt go out with him becasue it would be weird, and our friendship means more then any guy ever could. I supose I am the one who broke up with him. Am I wrong for still having my feelings kind of hurt? It is MY fault. Not Lyndsy's or Josh's. I messed up. You know that whole thing about better to lost in love then not having loved at all? Who ever the fuck said that was dead wrong.

This makes me feel small.

I hate this feeling.

Home on a saturday night ____ I wont be thinkin about you, baby*

2004-01-02T01:19:04Z

Spent New Years at Dube's.

Twas great fun. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

one of the manys. ps. whipped cream ROCKS me. <3

books_and_guns @ 2003-12-26T19:13:00

2003-12-27T00:38:07Z

Yesterday was Christmas, not to good. I got my "big" presents all before Christmas (new cell phone and tickets to the nutcracker in Boston) After opening presents and all that jazz, I went and slept over Chelsea's. In the A.M. Jackie, Chels and I went to the mall. We did some mad shopping. I got:

-pants from American Eagle
-two shirts from AE:
1) green "crown cleaners"
2) white "Dr. Miller..."
-necklace from AE
-sweater from Abercrombie
-pants from A&F
-2 belts (one brown and one white)
-a bag

yeeeeah.

Home on a saturday night ____ I wont be thinkin about you, baby*

2003-12-24T00:25:58Z

I stole

Instructions 1. Copy this whole list into your journal. 2. Bold the things that you have in common with me. 3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.
---
01. My favorite sport is hockey
02. I'm on the computer.
03. I don't have any pets
04. I feel cold a lot.
05. I love socks and belts and shoes. lol
06. I listen to all kids of music

07. I have lots of "friends." [but only a few good ones.]
08. I hate when people TypE LyKe D1s.
09. I am always on AIM
10. My hair is blonde.
11. I hate people who think they are better than others.
12. I have a cheez-it obsession.
13. Conor Oberst (bright eyes) is beautiful
14. I want to read the Lord of the Rings books.
15. I love recieving mail.
16. I am bored a lot.
17. My self-esteem isn't that high.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I also have many lessons to offer.
20. I dont know what my future brings, and this freaks me out.
21. I daydream way too much.
22. I would love to look at the sky at night with someone special and watch the stars with them.
23. I love hugs from people I care about.
24. I love old school Nintendo.
25. I want to go to England.
26.I have really poor eating habits.
27. I think Hilary Duff should kill herself. twice. three times.
28. I love the Beatles.
29. I adore my music.
30. I miss my old friends.
31. I hardly own any CD's that I haven't burned myself.
32. I'm running out of things to say about myself.
33. I like water.
34. I do not understand racism.
35. I want to be in love.
36. I have blue eyes
37. I have too many mixed emotions.
38. I have never been surfing.
39. I love my friends.
40. I miss having my best friend around.
41. My mother and I don't get along
42. I love movies.
43. I love my Gryffindor scarf. (if I had one I would.)
44. I am right-handed.
45. I obsess over things.
46. I am easily hurt (and usually show it).
47. I tend to take some things too personally.
48. My vocabulary contains words like "butthead" and "meanie"
49. I get really bad headaches.

50. I think guitar players are sexy.
51. I don't smoke.
52. I spend too much time on the internet.
53. I love it when bands do covers.
54. I am afraid of becoming a failure.
55. I love snow.
56. I love to sing.
57. I like people who are confident in what they believe and have integrity, but aren't closed-minded.
58. I took gymnastics for a year. (a few)
59. I wish I could draw better.
60. I miss the innocence of childhood.
61. I get barely any privacy.
62. I can do a split
63. I overreact about things a whole lot.
64. I dislike chineese (sp) food.
65. I love photography.
66. I hate being alone
67. I am extremely indecisive.
68. I don't talk about how I really feel about things except to a very few select people.
69. I hate it when people stick their noses into my business constantly.
70. I want a different middle name.

71. I like going to shows.
72. I am a huge procrastinator.
73. I am drawn to intellect and humor.
74. I cry alot.

75. I love things that smell good.
76. I often wonder why I don't care as much about school as I used to.
77. I like milkshakes.
78. I love Christmas.
79. I appreciate proper grammatical usage.
80. I think I quite possibly might like music too much.
81. I've never done cocaine.
82. I love to read.
83. I think black eyeliner is sexy.
84. I both trust too easily and don't trust at all.
85. I contradict myself constantly.
86. I don't like to argue, but I will stand for and support what I believe.
87. I am always seeking approval and acception [and I hate that about myself].
88. I dance well.
89. I hate my body.
90. I like ice cream.
91. I am shy.. and i am not shy at the same time.. yeah.
92. I take French.
93. I can't stand most of my family.
94. My musical talent is zero.
95. I used to take the time for the little things in life.
96. I love being around lots of people.
97. I am straight... but not narrow.

98. I want to have three kids [two boys, then a girl].
99. I love.

100. Sometimes I hate myself.

from _tragichearts . merci.

Today was so easy... the day before vacation generally is. Teachers have no power. The bus ride home today also kicked. (I can't believe I just said that...) We threw things at Staci. I hope that girl falls in a ditch on her way home. Shit-- I need to stop being mean. That's not the holiday spirit. hahaha. yeah. fuck holiday spirit.

ps. remind me never to go for a guy who is out of my league. fuck guys. fuck love. fuck yoou.

pss. all I need for chirstmas is...

__so you don't hurt so much*

2003-12-20T14:22:07Z

hmmm where to begin? I cheated on my french test and I still got a 78. How the hell did I pull that off? Man, I suck.

Last night, I went over to Kyle's. Great fun. All I can say is that one of Carmen Electra's boobs is bigger then the other, by a lot. poor girl.